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"Feeding · On · Others · Pains. · Seeking · Revenge · For · The · Pain · Caused · By · A · Loved · One."

My Personal Poetry Journal

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I feel I let you down
Can’t look you in the eyes
Knowing my mistakes
Judgmental glances
Make me feel so imperfect.
Backed into a corner
With the shadows of doubt
Breathing in your pain
Pleading to see the light
Want to touch your heart
Sunlight to your soul
Hang my head low
Consequences lay deep
Within a scared soul.
* * *
Falling through the pages
Of my own life story.
Drowning in the words
Created by my actions.
Forced to my knees
By the words of others
I look for my escape
Looking for my rescue
Small and helpless
Crying for sanctity
Fearing the path
I myself decided to take.

Art by Josephine Wall

Current Mood:
confused confused
* * *
I want to break this cycle
Needing to break your hold
Wanting to be free of you
Just wanting to be whole

Left feeling empty and alone
I press on
All on my own
No one here to hold my hand
Feeling like I'm falling into a wasteland

I want to break this cycle
Needing to break your hold
Wanting to be free of you
Just wanting to be whole

Vast graveyard of sadness
All my broken hopes and dreams
Your name seems to haunt
Will this I ever escape?

I'm banishing you from my life
Ripping you from my soul
Pleading for you to get the hell out
Wanting you to just go

I want to break this cycle
(When am I going to be happy)
Needing to break your hold
(When will someone take)
Wanting to be free of you
(Your inflicked pain from me)
Just wanting to be whole

Shaking these chains
(Breaking this cycle)
Freedom comes with a price
(Breaking your hold)
Healing from disaster
(Not totally free of you)
This might be my cure
(Someday I'll be whole without you.)
* * *
Don't know what I'm doing
Don't know where to go
Not sure I know
Much of anything any more.

He gave me hopes
He gave me dreams
I think even so close
He was going to give me a ring.

That's all been ripped away
Broken and casted aside
No chance of repair

* * *
My world falls apart
All right before my eyes
My soul is crying
It just lays there and dies.

The damage is done
Emotions falling numb
Corrupted it seems
I fall unseen.

It falls all around me
Pieces of a puzzle
Tumble from it's place
I lay broken in the middle.

Cast teary eyes to you
Looking for the safety
Scared and so alone
Is it going to be ok?

Don't look down on me
I am searching for he
The white knight
Can he save me?

So lost are we
In a world not our own
No lights of hope here
I clinge to the memory of love.

To journay so far for you
Bruised and beatin'
Only to be greated with darkness
I just scream your name.


I feel so stripped of perfection
Beatin down and rejected
Self image perjected
Nothing what I expected
Abused and bruised
Screaming out for an end.
* * *
* * *
Every night I lay awake
I toss and I turn
Listening carefully to the door
To annouce your arrival
But silence is all I get in return

The nights seem to go on forever
Laying here I shiver
Freezing in your vaccant space
Wondering how much longer I can take the silence
Created when you left my place

My dreams are tainted with your face
The false feeling of arms around my waist
Drifting off to sleep to be with you
Only to wake sadly multiple times
Can't sleep sound enought to dream of you

* * *
Sharp destruction
Rip through my flesh
Spell out untrust
In crimson bliss
Pain in punishment
Watch me inflict
Intense emotions
Welling upon my wrist
Broken codes of honor
Soul stain of ugliness
Beauty is fleeting
Deepest desire of release
Questionable scares remain
Demons to be relinquish
Fighting myself
Is there no end.
Current Mood:
depressed depressed
Current Music:
Linkin Park - Meteora CD
* * *
**This is all rambling bullshit so if it sucks, well it does suck so read at your own risk.**

I'm writing you
This letter
To tell you
Of my fright
And the horrible things
I have seen
In my young life
A war
Is quickly escalating
To hateful meaningless revenge
The worlds
Vast poverty
Is getting
Out of control
When will it all
Babies having babies
Daddies run off on them
Can't handle street life
Slips into a coma
Because of heroin
Another child
Lost to murder
Because an angry parent
Couldn't keep their hands
At their sides
Body counts are rising
The living and
The dead
Because our
Can't remember what he said.

* * *
Let me be
Your rescuing angel
Soft and pure
Filling you with light

Sent to you
From up above
Sent to you
With so much love

Let me be
The one to pick you up
When all that stuff
Gets too tough

Sent to you
To give back trust
Sent to you
So I can touch

Let me be
The one that touches
Forgotten places of your heart
And revive your dying soul

Sent to you
To help you cope
Sent to you
To give back all your hope.

Let me be
Your guarding angel
Warding off darkest nightmares
Filling you up with sweetest of dreams.

* * *
~Like the title, this all just sort of came out at work as I just sat there. None of it is good. It's all broken, but as always I just need some place to put it so I don't lose it.~

Breaking your heart
I've revived my soul
Discovering things
I had never known

Life is coming at me
Far to fast
Hold myself steady
Before I crash!

Setting myself free
Pepare real well
Hold my breath tight
As I start to fall.


Wonder where its been
The strength to say
You don't win


Colapse on my bed
Sob the same sob
Would I really be better off
If I were just dead.


Release my soul
For binding barbs


This pain is so great
Why does my heart ache
It this is what I was to do
To realse myself from you.
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